Mum's effort

Mum put so much effort into this blog and raising funds for mouth cancer. The idea that she could help even just one person with her efforts was worth it. Two days before she died, she woke for a short while and asked me to update her blog so everyone knew she had not forgotten about them. Mum always cared about helping others.

She raised over £7,000 through her blog, and thanks to your donations along the way. Thank you so much.

The Mouth Cancer Foundation have posted a thank you to her efforts on their website. They will also be remembering mum at their Mouth Cancer 10k Walk on 18th September 2010 in Kensington Gardens, London. Dad, Jack and I will be there - if any of you would like to join us, please do. Details below.

http://www.rdoc.org.uk/exp26.html

All the best, and thank you all for caring about my mum.

Jerina x

A few words from Mum's diary

Mum wrote a few things in her diary that I would like to share with you. The connections that she made through this blog meant so much to her, and I think it gave her strength to know you were out there reading her words. Love Jerina

" One very good thing about the blog is that I am now in contact with people I haven't heard from for years. Whether conscious or not, it is a better way to say goodbye to people than when you are already in the coffin."

"Smile, laugh, enjoy life - carry me with you in your heart + I can go along the journey with you."

We will be saying goodbye to mum this Friday at 2pm at the Holy Trinity Church in Maisons Laffitte. All are welcome.

Gone to sleep

Mum passed away peaceflly in her sleep this morning at 5.50am. After a long time fighting, her pain is now gone. She kept fighting for us for as long as she could.
We will miss you forever mum, you truly were the sunshine in our lives. We will do you proud, I promise. I love you.

Jerina

Sorry - very ill

Jerina here, Caroline's daughter. Mum has asked me to let you know that she is too unwell to write her blog at the moment. Following starting up the chemo last week, it has hit hard and she has been in bed asleep and too ill to turn on the computer. She hasn't forgotten about her blog though, and hopes to be back up and writing to you all very soon! Dad working overtime to look after mum, Jack and I home until further notice. Thanks for all your support

good,tick,good,tick,good,tick

wow! Got my card and am now officially an invalid and can jump queues.something the French do so naturally anyway!
secondly,my eyesight is o.k.-no cataracts.
Thirdly,I received a lovely cushion from a friend which snuggles into my bony bottom and offers much relief!!
My swollen face is also looking a little less puffy,,,,and my daughter is coming to visit this weekend.
Wishing you all as good a weekend as i hope i will have.

being well to be ill

In France,you need to be well to be ill.You need to make your own appointments for everything and then get yourself there,whether it is a blood test,an x-ray,whatever.Or you can stay in hospital.there is no happy medium,unless you are prepared to pay someone to do these things for you.I have friends willing to help,so i am fortunate ,but I am reluctant to ask as A) I am stubborn and B) it requires a mail to make the request ,then hope that that person opens their mail that day and can reply back and hopefully say they are free to do it.I suppose i could text,but not everyone answers that either. So I tend to impose on my husband which is unfair of me and i shall have to try a little harder.Today then ,i have asked a friend to take me to the town hall as it looks like they may have my priority card which i have been waiting for (but no parking badge which are like gold dust),and then onto the optician`s.
I am waiting for her reply right now......

not just me

my poor husband!
Every day he has something to do for me that eats into his work time.Monday,hospital,Tuesday chasing the badges so i can have priority at the supermarket queue,today making an appointment for the optician`s as my eyesight seems to be worsening ,not to mention the every day drug fetching and administering.last night we settled down to watch a thriller and ,of course,just at the pinnacle of the plot, my chin spontaneously began to bleed profusely,all over the settee,my clothes,the carpet.So that was the end of his rest....
When i tried to communicate this to the nurse,she offered hospitalisation.....as if...

3may-chemo one 2010

slept through the transfusion very deeply and then came home and had another two hours.I have a bad taste in my mouth and feel a little sick,but nothing intolerable yet.Don`t think it will be easy whilst still on the cortisone and the chemo at the same time.My eyes are blurry too-i hope that is temporary!
Next chemo in two weeks when i expect i will lose my hair too.

decision made

I awoke with a face like a blowfish,my eyes popping out and my lips as if they had been turned inside out.I had spent a night with a headache and pain in my neck and side of my face,so I have decided I can`t go on with this rollercoaster of a life ,so I am going to have a go at the chemo.
I am quaking in my shoes about this so will appreciate your continued support.

change of wardrobe

It has been really quite hot here the past few days ,although it seems to have turned today.
ithought i might look out some shorts-get some air to the legs.But i don`t have legs any more ,i have sticks with purple bruises.I feel i am losing weight despite trying to get more sustenance into my body as my cocsix is jutting out and i can`t get comfortable sitting down .The scales say I am down a kilo,but it feels like more.
And they want me to do more chemo.....?????