First of all,sorry I have not been in touch for a few days-events just overtook me and being a moronic middle-age woman ,i just ranted when the internet kept going down and gave up.
But,having said that,I want you readers to know ,especially the young ones how happy you made me the other day when Jack,my son mailed me to say you were reading my blog.It gave me a real boost,which is good for my health and also it is what it is all about- getting info out,taking notice and maybe saving a few lives in the future-your future.
Itis not for nothing that they are running these adverts at the moment about drinking and the harm it can do (including mouth cancer).It is not like your yoghurt advert or your "Vanish" advert where one spray and the stain is gone-cancer of the mouth is disgusting as well as deadly.
No-one is saying don`t go out on Saturday (or is Friday the new saturday?) and get plastered-now and again-it is what students do and life is for living,but nursing that hangover the next day is a walk in the park compared to sufffering the possible consequences -maybe years later,maybe not , of never being able to eat another Subway or Macdonald`s ,or being invited to the pub ,cos you can`t drink .In your head you can talk normally,but what comes out of your mouth is gobbly-gook .To be honest,you ain`t just got cancer ,you are a bit of a freak and outcast.
Litle Britain could make some some funny macabre comedy sketches about people with this disease cos sometimes you just got to laugh.
I dribble and spit everywhere-you can tell where i have been and it reminds me of when Jack had a spanish teacher who made him sit at the front of the class and he swears he learned very litle as he was busy wiping his face with her spittle all the time.
I needed to go and buy a present for a friend the other day ,and as i was feeling relatively strong went on my own to the parfumerie and bought the perfume i was after,but i wanted it giftwrapped which is quite normal in france ,but the shop assistant did not offer ,and i had forgotten to bring pen and paper with me to write it down ,so i tried talking and sign language,but they were more interested in just doing the transaction,so i gave up ,and paid up.But this really upset me-such a simple thing.
Ladies ,i would love someone to take me in hand and re-do my face.I still want to look nice and wear make -up and ear-rings,but my face shape has changed and i no longer know where to apply blusher,or which foundation to choose as my complexion has changed with all the toxins in my body- i would love to have highlights but my hair is fragile. I would even appreciate a pair of feminine knickers that don`t fall down as i have no bottom any more!
I could go on,but these are just other side-effects to cancer, that are hidden but so important as they are just as relative to the disease as to the physical aspects of the pain etc.Humiliation and loss of dignty and respect are killers too.
I apologise for this rant,but i do feel it needs to be pointed out.It has made me feel a bit better and i hope it serves as something for you to put ,but keep to the backof your minds-consequences of your actions will take place sometime ,whether it is drinking,smoking ,taking drugs.Enjoy yourselves too as life can be short-you will either be a lucky so and so and sail through life as plenty do,but you might not it is the throw of the dice-but my advice is -it is not worth playing russian roulette with it.
i hope you willkeep reading and all you students supporting me and my children I am rooting fot firsts for you as you deserve it just for being decent human beings,and I am fully aware of the challenges all you young people have ahead of you in this mess of a world at the moment ,but it is your war and a different kind that my generation had to deal with,but I am confident that you can meet those challenges.
Enjoy the weekend.
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I don't think that you are ranting in any way, shape, or form.
RépondreSupprimerIt seems to me that you are trying to do two things–communicate your true experience of what it means to have/have had cancer, this particular cancer, to yourself, your loved ones, and people you do not yet know while at the same time trying to raise the awareness of others–in your unique position of having "painful knowledge"–generously and empathetically so that others might be spared the suffering that you have endured and are working through and into narrative.
I recall very clearly reading the memoir of a mature woman who had gone home to care for an elderly mother who was in a serious decline. Among the things that she mentioned, which stuck quite clearly in my mind at the time and since, was the nefaste relationship between smoking and alcohol consumption, in that, it would appear, they each aggravate the effects of the other, when combined, so that esophageal cancer, for example, is more common among those who drink and smoke than those who only do one or the other. It is a tiny detail but it seems to dovetail with your efforts to bring the attention of others, for their long-term health, to the need to be conscious of their use of alcohol. An important point that bears being made.
Congratulations on having taken the creative leap of starting your own blog. It will be very interesting to read how it evolves as you continue to express yourself freely.
Amitiés,
I am moved by your honesty to share with us your experience.
RépondreSupprimerA macabre comedy would be a relief at times I would imagine.
I have a friend that has had kidney failure for most of his life and has been through three transplants so he is back on the transplant list for the fourth time.
He goes to dialysis three times a week four hours at a time. As you can imagine there is a lot of time for bad jokes and musings about life.
Last week he was at his dialysis and Olympic downhill skiing was on the t.v. . One of the skiiers had a horrible fall and had to be transported away by helicopter. While all this was happening he quipped to his fellow dialysis compadres: "I wonder what blood type she is".
Horrible? Sure it is. And it's a fine line the jokes that can be made and the moment in which to tell them - but there you are. I hope you are not offended by my story but I had to share because, however cringe worthy that may be, the macabre joke is sometimes the only way to go when feeling particularly low.
I agree with you there,as i just have to laugh at some of the interpretations i get when i talk,as i would be permanently indepression ,otherwise!
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